Why We’re So Lonely—and How Forest Therapy, Music, and Meaningful Gathering Can Help Us Heal

Earlier this summer, I attended a moving talk at Wisdom 2.0 titled “Why Are We So Lonely?” with Dr. Vivek Murthy and Jack Kornfield. In this conversation, they explored the rising epidemic of loneliness in a world that is paradoxically more connected—and more isolated—than ever.

“The antidote to loneliness,” Dr. Murthy said, “is connection. And connection begins with presence.”

That presence is something we rarely afford ourselves—or one another—in our hyper-digital, hyper-productive culture. Kornfield added that cultivating deep connection means not just showing up, but truly arriving in our relationships—with people, with purpose, and with the world around us.

Their message struck a chord. Not only because I see these challenges daily in my work, but because their words echoed something I’ve come to know personally through my own journey with nature.

🌲 Relearning Relationship: How Forest Therapy Changed Me

Although I grew up in the Santa Cruz Mountains, surrounded by towering redwoods and misty trails, I was surprised by how dramatically six months of forest therapy guide training—and consistent mindful time in nature—reshaped my relationship to the land.

I realized that even with a lifelong love of the outdoors, I had been othering nature without realizing it.

I appreciated it, escaped into it, even taught about it—but I wasn’t aware of the depth of relationship that slept below the surface. I hadn’t slowed down enough to truly start listening-to myself and the more than human world.

Forest therapy taught me that nature isn’t a backdrop—it’s a living, breathing presence that lives withing and all around us, welcoming us back home into connection that feels familiar and soothing to me. It mirrored back the parts of myself I had kept at a distance. In reconnecting with the land, I began to reconnect with myself and others in a more honest, attuned way.

🎶 Singing Beneath the Trees: Collective Effervescence as Medicine

To the tune of remembering our connections, and as part of my retreats, I’ve been incorporating silent disco technology—inviting people to dance freely in nature while listening to carefully curated playlists that support somatic release and an opportunity to feel a span of emotions that may have been pushed back down for some time. I take song requests to tap into these emotions. 

And now, I’m thrilled to share that I’ve added a portable outdoor screen and Bluetooth projector so we can sing lyrics together beneath the stars or forest canopy.

This simple act of singing together may feel like play—but it’s also profound. Psychologists call it collective effervescence—the electric, uplifting feeling we experience when sharing movement, sound, or intention in community. It’s the opposite of loneliness. It’s a return to belonging. 

This, too, is medicine.

🌱 Real Connection, Real Places: IRL SF & SF Commons

In a culture dominated by algorithms and notifications, real-world gathering matters more than ever. That’s why I’m excited to be part of the growing movement of community-centered, place-based healing experiences in the Bay Area.

• IRL SF: A curated calendar of meaningful, off-screen, in-person gatherings—from forest walks to creativity circles.

• SF Commons: A community space for care, creativity, and connection in the heart of San Francisco.

These organizations are building the same kind of spaces Dr. Murthy and Jack Kornfield called for: places where people can connect with purpose, be seen, and come home to themselves and each other.

🧡 August 24 Retreat: The Art of Gathering

If this speaks to you, I invite you to join me for my next retreat on 📅 Saturday, August 24 at Chaminade Resort & Spa in Santa Cruz.

The theme? The Art of Gathering, Portals to Presence

Inspired by Priya Parker’s transformative book, The Art of Gathering, we’ll explore how to come together with clarity, intention, and heart.

“Gatherings crackle and flourish when real thought is put into them—when they have a clear purpose and an honest invitation.” – Priya Parker

Through forest therapy, self-myofascial release, mindful sharing, and some movement, we’ll reclaim the art of meaningful connection—with ourselves, with each other, and with our living world.

🎟️ Register here: somaticecotherapy.com/events

🌿 What Would It Look Like in Your Life?

Dr. Murthy emphasized that the way out of loneliness isn’t more screen time—it’s reclaiming relationship: with people, with purpose, with place.

So I leave you with some gentle questions:

• What does relationship mean to you right now? With nature? With community and those you love? With yourself?

• How and when do you practice service—not out of obligation, but from the heart? What is your unique gift to share?

• What gives you a sense of purpose that transcends productivity? I am working on an Ikigai retreat so as a community we can have discussions around this topic: co-emergent learning.

• How might your gatherings—meals, walks, birthdays, circles—become more meaningful by becoming more intentional?

🌌 Let’s Remember How to Gather

Whether it’s sitting quietly in a redwood grove, singing beneath the stars, or dancing barefoot in community, these moments are available to us. And they are healing.

Loneliness may be widespread—but so is our capacity for connection.

 And that connection is waiting—just outside the noise.

 Join me in choosing it.